Define it
by filleencore
Summary: This story takes place after "Definitions." I'm working with the assumption that Robin made good on her threat, and that she and Barney spent at least part of the morning they were locked up in her bedroom having sex. Lily questions Robin about it later in the day. One-shot! Rated T for language.


**A.N.: This is my first ever HIMYM story, and my first ever fanfiction on this website, so, please, be kind. I'm an avid reader, but my ideas for stories are always forgotten long before I can manage to get to the computer to type them up. **

**I had this idea today, and it wouldn't go away, so I thought I'd publish it. It takes place after ****_Definitions_****, and I'm working with the assumption that Robin made good on her threat, and she and Barney spent at least part of the morning they were locked up in her bedroom having sex. I know it's nothing to write home about, but it's what I've gotten thus far.**

* * *

Later that day, after they had _pretended_ to define their relationship, so their friends would leave them alone, and they'd decided, over brunch, that_ the talk_ should never be talked about, ever again, Barney takes off to work and Robin heads over to the apartment to find Lily slouched on her couch, a pile of magazines by her side.

"Oh! Hey, Lil." Robin says, and plops down on the couch next to her friend. When she doesn't get more than a "hi" back from Lily, she grabs one of the magazines and starts skimming through the latest scoop on Brangelina's new baby or something.

"Sooo," Lily says, breaking the very brief silence between them, "now that we're alone, spill it."

Robin looks up from her magazine eyeing Lily, confusion written all over her face. "Spill what?"

"What Barney did to you in that bedroom this morning. Whatever it was, it was _good_. So, spill it."

"Oh, it was nothing," Robin dismisses, going back to her article, anything is better than having to talk to Lily about her and Barney, "I was just faking it for you guys' benefit."

"Robin, please, cut it off. I know_ faking it_ when I hear it. Plus, I've heard you fake it with Ted, and _that_ was not faking _it_."

"Fine. Maybe I didn't fake all of it."

"Try none of it." Lily shoots back.

"Ok, none of it, but I was definitely screaming louder than I'd normally have, so that maybe you guys would take the clue and leave us alone."

"HA! I knew it. So what was it?"

"What was what, Lil?"

"Whatever Barney did to you that made you scream like that. Did he use any of his kinky sex toys?"

"Ew, Lil, no! We don't even have any of that stuff here. It was just, y'know, your regular morning sex."

"There was _nothing_ regular in what I heard."

"Seriously? Did you and Marshall sit here and listen to us having sex? That's creepy, Lily."

"You guys made it really hard for us not to hear it. Sooo, tell me, what was it?"

"I don't know, Lil. I told you... it was... just... sex. _Really_ good sex. I... it... it's just... it's different, better, with Barney than it's ever been with any of the guys I've ever been with. He's just... he really knows what he's doing down there, you know?"

"Oh, I see..." Lily ponders. "This is what _love_ feels like. Awwwww! You two are so in love it's ridiculous."

"No, it... is... _not_! It's sex. Great, amazing, out of this world sex, but it's just sex. Do you know how many girls Barney's banged? He's got a lotta practice, that's all."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. I know love when I see it, and you and Barney are in love. I bet he feels the same way you do about_ the sex_, like it's the best he's ever had because_ you_'ve had a lot of practice, and that's because it's the first time real love is in it for both of you. Awww!"

"You're a little delusional," Robin snaps at Lily and gets up from the couch, grabbing her purse, "and I'm out of here."

"Where you going?" Lily asks, surprised at Robin's sudden reaction.

"Told Barney I'd meet him after work. See you later, Lil." Robin says closing the door behind her.

"But it's too early for_ after work_," Lily shouts after Robin, and sinks back down into the couch. "_So_ in love..." She says to herself as she goes back to her magazines.


End file.
